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Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
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11:26 pm - How many clones of me are there?
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Is anyone surprised? Yea, no, didn't think so.
And ye, still alive, if you count that just by whether I'm breathing or not. Am very close to pitching everything off a cliff and becoming a barnacle on a rock somewhere. But writing about anything won't help, and will only aggravate my damned wrist pain. Plus, I just don't care enough to write jack shit right now.
I'd say sorry, except I'm not. Oh well.
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| Monday, April 14th, 2008
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11:11 am - The scanner's astonishing capture of the day...
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So when he got the scanner, I thought "nifty technology" but didn't think I'd be all into it.
Then, this morning, we heard a call-out, identifying itself to I'm not sure who, advising of descent from 60,000ft.
The plane was one of these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lockheed_U-2
Holy shit. We just heard a spy plane on his scanner. Wow... That's so cool :D
(And yes, I know, I'm such a geek, but it IS cool!)
current mood: shocked!
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| Sunday, March 9th, 2008
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7:44 am - New baby plant!
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One of my seed pots is finally showing some life! What a good way to start the day! I can just barely see the pale translucent reddish stem of the seedling poping up out of the dirt. Makes me wish I had a disecting scope to look at it with, but seedlings are so fragile that it would be hard to put it into a position where I could see anything.
I have to keep reminding myself to NOT touch it, I want to brush off the clump of soil from its tiny head.
Of course, its the mostly-decorative morning glory that's sprouting, and not the more useful lavender. Morning glory has its uses, but its hardly a plant I need very often. Once both are grown enough to be sturdy seedlings, I'll go to the plant nursery and get a few more packets of seeds.
Its tiny and cute and alive and MINE. Now I just have to figure out how to power my daylight lamp fixture in a way that doesn't give me a migraine from the 120hz/60hz A/C flicker... :/
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| Sunday, December 30th, 2007
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2:09 am - a new pretty song for me
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Adam just yanked the opening credits song from the new anime series we're watching, tweaked the end to not be abrupt by looping a part of the opening bit, and it sounds so lovely...
I said he doesn't have to do something just because I wish for it, but he didn't seem tomind spendingthe time making the song good for me.
Its the little things, hm? Or something of the sort. I couldn't stop smiling... He is so good to me. So kind and loving and wonderful...
current mood: exhausted
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| Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
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11:18 pm
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Her parents were killed, in some war or other. And an old woman came to her rescue and told her she was golden and beautiful and showed her how she could be uniquely useful in a way no one else could. And then she was sent on her way to learn about the world, so she could come home afterwards, able to live and to care for the people around her. She was taught to be a healer, and it really doesn't matter at all that she used magic to heal. It might as well been just herb-lore and basic first aid, the point is she was given a life with purpose and direct reward for success, as well as a home and a second mother and friends and a secure knowledge of her path. A place, something useful and good to do, to take pride in, to give meaning to her life.
Just a stupid story. But one with everything I'd ever wanted and never had. I guess I shouldn't be surprised if it made me cry. I never had good parents and so didn't have such to lose, and never was taught anything useful at all, and I'll never have a home to come back to.
stupid. but still, painful in that sharp, can't-breath, please-let-me-die kind of way.
current mood:  blank
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| Monday, November 5th, 2007
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1:23 pm - He kissed me
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and I just about melted into the couch.
that's all.
current mood:  embarrassed
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| Sunday, October 28th, 2007
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1:45 pm - sleep...
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I haven't woken up feeling even the slightest bit rested in so long now...
I woke up this morning feeling almost alive. He drove away all my nightmares last night.
I should get my tongue pierced.
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| Thursday, October 25th, 2007
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2:47 pm - Cross-species communication
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Furball and Adam are talking to each other in squeaks. It is so cute its far off the edge of the scale... So cute!
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2:57 am - Hee, funny!
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(as I'm going through the symptoms of lupus, which I fit a bit too well for comfort, I run across this symptom. Adam says it sounds like something you'd get from the one brothel in humboldt county.)
"I'm here for the butterfly face eruption..."
"Can I get fries with that?"
current mood: laughing
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| Saturday, October 20th, 2007
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7:40 am - amusing bit from a "pagan" class announcements
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This is just ... very funny. I wonder just what people think when they write these things, or if they bother to re-read what they wrote to check for accuracy and a clear message as they intended.
Or maybe they really do think it. In which case, I have absolutely nothing in common with them. Certainly no religious affiliation.
(description of an herbal class in Grass Valley, copied exactly as written)
- Deepen your relationship with the plants
- Build a repertoire of herbal allies to guide you on your path
- Learn how herbs can become our teachers and guides
Plants cannot be teachers, and you cannot have a "relationship" with something that cannot communicate with you. Plants cannot "guide" anyone, not even their own little baby spores or pollen or seed. You cannot make an alliance with plants. Unless its a plant starring in Veggie Tales.
This is beyond absurd. Far beyond absurd. Which is fine, that makes it just that less likely that I'll be mistaken for one of those fools.
current mood: exhausted
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| Wednesday, October 17th, 2007
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10:02 pm - um.
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That's as much as can be said about the link.
Except this: it killed me. Twice.
No. Make that three times.
Thank you to whoever gave birth to the people(s) who created it.
http://pics.ryanchapin.com/albums/biker_peeps/
current mood:  crushed
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| Thursday, October 11th, 2007
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4:48 pm - CUTE!
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(Yes, I know just how this'll make me look. I don't care. He's already laughing at me for it anyways!)
This caterpillar is my new best friend. it is SO CUTE! http://s15.photobucket.com/albums/a385/mars_star6/caterpillars/?action=view¤t=catapilla.flv
I'm going spazztic over the cuteness of the wriggling little caterpillar. Especially the part where it's wriggling across my palm trying to go as fast as its chubby little self can go. Ohgod, cuteness overload....
I've watched it four times in a row now. I know. I'm crazy. :p
(I'm over-reacting on purpose. I can't face the reality I am forced to live in now)
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| Saturday, October 6th, 2007
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2:08 pm
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Adam's reading me choice parts of "overheard in new york" so I get all the funny parts and nothing at all upsetting. Which makes it even better than years ago when I used to read it. I stopped because of the upsetting parts...
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| Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
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1:08 pm - Oh and in spite of being in too much pain...
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I'm reading over teacher's notes for the class I missed today. Goddamn... I'm such a good girl.
current mood: amused
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| Saturday, September 22nd, 2007
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1:48 am - *dying...*
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Now we're doing one of the fish...
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1:43 am - AH!
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Adam and I are doing a personality test on the hamster.
It is surprisingly accurate.
We're both laughing hysterically over it.
Ohmygod. This is the funniest thing ever.
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| Sunday, September 2nd, 2007
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1:59 am - Ow...
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I shredded my thumb and didn't even realise it. Cut pretty deeply too... :/ absentmindedly playing with the grapefruit knife while I'm reading my book.
I really am out of it. Sick. Sniffling, congested, achey, the flu. Except on top of that, well, fibro flare. Should I really go out riding all day tomorrow? Well, I can always stop and rest, or turn back ... perhaps not a bad idea to pack the tent and sleeping bag, just in case, and a bit of spare cash for a motel room if need be. I'd rather not spend the money, but I'd much prefer to come home in one piece.
Ow... I can feel it hurting badly now, though I had no idea I was actually damaging myself until I stopped and looked :/
Oh yea. and stupid furball bit me. My fault though and serves me right for being too aggressively intrusive on her, I should have just fed her the lettuce and left it at that, but noo, I had to open her cage and coax her out onto my hand, like an idiot that doesn't know hamsters at all instead of someone who's bred and raised the damned creatures...
current mood: sick, exhausted, hurting
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| Saturday, August 11th, 2007
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5:28 pm - A moment...
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a moment of bliss, comfort, feeling warm and safe and loved...
Too bad it never lasts. Still, a moment is better than never. On to cleaning, before the despair and pain hits again... anyways, the house badly needs it. Especially if I mean to agressively pursue the friendships I'll need to maintain at least a partial grip on reality in the coming ... month .. year.. who knows... I've never done this solo.
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| Sunday, August 5th, 2007
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2:22 am - Here... but screaming.
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sleep. oh gods, is it that hard? just sleep...
Last night, 15 hours. But only with drugs (one of them still illegal...)
Oh, I know things will work out. But, what I don't know is how much it will cost.
The last time, it almost cost my life. But this time, it isn't for someone else's life that I'm pleading. Its for mine. For ours. For this family that hasn't even started yet.
Oh my Goddess, divine mother, light of my life... give me strength to keep breathing, give me the strength to keep going, give me the strength to lay down and rest... please not much more, please let the light come soon...
Sigh.
Like all good witches... prayer, always, a last resort of the desperate. But the Calling is done in dreamscapes, so sleep I absolutely must...
winamp reads my mindstate like nothing else does, kinda freaky...
current music: Winamp *** 1039. Metallica - Creeping Death
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| Saturday, August 4th, 2007
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5:22 pm - My new topic on Consumating
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